It's Lonely At The Top
by snowglobe3
Summary: Fem!Yuuri. Yuuri and Victor have been the women's and men's Grand Prix winners for the last few years running. When a video of Yuuri skating goes viral, their publicists arrange a relationship as part of a publicity stunt for the two of them. But will it all be for show?
1. Chapter 1

it's lonely at the top.

Yuuri smiled at her fans, signing their proffered merchandise with a flourish and doing her best to block out the squeals and screams that came from young girls finally meeting their idol. The reason that she was being mobbed was her first place finish in the women's Grand Prix Final, but she wasn't feeling quite the same level of emotion as the others assembled here. The first time, yes, but now this was her third Grand Prix win in a row; the shock and sheer disbelief had faded, replaced by a quiet and jaded excitement. She was afraid that she was beginning to lose the spark that had catapulted her to the top in the first place, the earnestness combined with grace that set her apart from all the other technically qualified skaters. Yuuri admitted to herself that she wasn't the most technically perfect of skaters, and she might not be as solid on her jumps as some of them, but she knew that her gift to surprise others with a genuine routine that told a story was what people were after.

Out of the corner of her eye, she began to notice some fans leaving the crowd and making a beeline for the other door. She wondered who was coming out from there, and was unsurprised to see Victor Nikiforov. He had been the reigning men's champion for the last five Grand Prixs now. From his overly bright smiles and cheerful demeanor, it seemed to her that he was suffering from a similar cocktail of emotion to hers. The blond man had been in the spotlight for most of Yuuri's memory; she would deny it if she was asked, but her bedroom had been plastered with posters of him as a teen, and she hadn't exactly taken them down even though she had just turned 23. She blushed and looked away as he offered her a quick wink. Wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea.

She was grateful for his appearance, because they both attracted a similar fan base, teenage girls, and they began to flock to the heartthrob. The crowd around her thinned out, and Yuuri was finally able to make her escape into the car that management had waiting for her. She looked back at Victor and caught his eye, giving him a playful wink as she ducked into the back seat. Back at her hotel, she crawled into the bath, eager to relax her sore muscles. She ordered room service because she figured she deserved some kind of reward for her performance, but picked at it, barely eating a bite. It just couldn't compare to her mother's katsudon.

The morning of the celebrations dawned, and Yuuri wasn't sure what to do with her day. The big banquet didn't start until the evening, and she didn't really know the city well. She did what she always liked to do whenever she felt overwhelmed. Hailing a taxi, Yuuri asked to go to the nearest ice rink.

Without makeup and a costume and with her glasses, people rarely recognized her, which was how Yuuri preferred things to be. She arrived at the rink to find that it didn't open for free skate for another fifteen minutes; not many normal people were up and eager to skate at a quarter past six. Yuuri chuckled at that idea, because her rink time usually started at five in the morning. Even champions couldn't get too choosy.

The woman at the rink gave her a strange look as she opened the doors and allowed Yuuri inside, but soon returned to the desk. Yuuri sat down on the bleachers and laced up her skates, gliding onto the ice and relishing the feeling. She began stroking in slow circles around the ice, willing her muscles to warm up and relaxed. She winced as she moved; today would be a day without practice, just some fun skating. Something just for her instead of for the crowds.

After a few minutes, she had an idea, and popped on some skate guards before heading over to the office. She asked if she could plug in her phone and play some music. The other woman nodded yes, and so Yuuri hit play before returning to the ice.

She assumed position on the center of the rink as the first bars of "Stammi Vicino" began to play. She had loved the song (and the accompanying routine) ever since Victor had begun using it this season, and had watched it so obsessively on YouTube that she had a pretty strong grasp of it. After practicing it when she had some time by herself, she felt that she could do a pretty good rendition of it, and she absolutely loved the way it made her feel. Victor had a very strong story behind the choreography. When the soprano entered, she always imagined skating with someone else. It would be a great song for a pair of skaters as well.

Yuuri didn't try to strain her body, turning Victor's quads into triples and even doubles. She let herself relax into the choreography, moving gently with the music and tuning out everything else. So much so that she didn't notice that the woman from the front had perked up when she heard the first strains of Stammi Vicino and came running in, just in time to capture the whole thing on video.

Unaware of anything else happening, Yuuri was perfectly relaxed and at peace, doing her best to show the love and longing that the song projected. The music slowed to a stop and she assumed the ending pose, breathing heavily. She was snapped out of her reverie by the next song on her phone, pop music that blared loudly in contrast to the soft strains of the Italian.

She continued to skate, messing around with easy combinations she hadn't done in a long time. It had been far too long since Yuuri had done something that wasn't choreographed in advance, and it was freeing to play around again like she had done with Yuuko as a child at Ice Castle Hasetsu. Maybe she would have to return home and see if it was anything like she remembered it to be.

She saw a few people who were now entering the rink, and she checked her watch to see that almost an hour had gone by. Yuuri decided that now was as good a time as any to leave, especially since she didn't feel much like dealing with other people. So she exited the rink and slipped her skates off, putting them carefully in her bag before walking out of the building.

Back at the hotel, Yuuri amused herself by going through all of Victor's old routines online, smiling as she saw his junior routines. He had been adorable then, but he was absolutely gorgeous now. Plus his skating had grown so much- she loved his current mature portrayal of emotions. After about an hour, she couldn't resist the urge any longer, and she clicked on her favorite video- you guessed it, Stammi Vicino. His rendition from yesterday was finally up, and she eagerly clicked on it. The competition schedule meant that Yuuri didn't have time to watch the men, instead practicing her own routine or getting mentally prepared to compete. She'd been wondering how Victor had done- obviously well, considering that he was the gold medalist, but how just how well?

She was floored by the end of the video, because Victor, as always, had surprised them all again. How did his motions become so much more refined between his last qualifying event and the finals? Yuuri didn't know, but she was grateful. She could watch him skate forever.

Her phone buzzed, and she was forced to pause the video so she didn't miss anything. It was probably Phichit, checking in about her performance yesterday. She had forgot to ask him how his day had gone. He had, excitingly, made the Grand Prix Final for the second year in a row, and had come in in fourth place. No medal this year, but still an amazing performance.

She opened his texts, and saw that he had sent her a link to something, which she quickly clicked on. When it finally loaded, she realized after a moment that she was staring at herself from this morning. The title boldly declared: "Yuuri Katsuki Skates Stammi Vicino". Apparently it was trending; it already had 100,000 views.

Once she had hit play, Yuuri couldn't look away though she dearly wanted to. She was surprised that it wasn't worse that it was, but there were so many errors, especially compared to the video she had just watched. Her moments were so glaringly different from Victor's, but she supposed that made sense because the song told a different story to her. In her mind, she was lonely and being found by someone, and finding love, not the one finding someone else.

In the back of her mind she wondered just who had even filmed this in the first place, but she reasoned that it was a free skate and so it wasn't as if people were forbidden to be in there.

She wasn't prepared for the reaction in the comments sections. There was a lot of gushing about her skating, which she didn't exactly agree with, but the vast majority of people seemed to want her and Victor to skate Stammi Vicino together. She wondered why; it wasn't as if they were pair skaters after all, but she figured that people who were fans of the both of them would want to see them both. Still, she mentally bemoaned her fate. Now it was going to take a lot longer for the fuss about her medal to die down this time around. She had hoped that the fact that this was becoming a regular feat would at least cause the media to lose some interest and leave her be. Yuuri had never been particularly good at handling crowds, or reporters, because both things usually involved some public speaking. And Yuuri did not mesh well with public speaking.

She wasn't quite sure what to do about all of this, so she texted Phichit back.

"Victor definitely knows I'm a fangirl now."

Her phone started buzzing again, but it wasn't her Thai friend. She looked at the number on the screen and smiled. With something this big, she had been expecting Angela to call her soon.

Yuuri hadn't been allowed to room with Phichit at school because the school thought that it would be inappropriate (never mind that Phichit was gay and so nothing would be going on between them anyways). So they had both been forced to find other roommates. Yuuri had found Angela, a marketing major and a fellow freshman. Angela had taken on managing Yuuri when Celestino had demanded she find someone to help her with her image after her first big win at the Rostelecom Cup. Her roommate started by viewing it all as a sort of side project, but it quickly became a part-time job. She was now officially Yuuri's manager, which she assured her friend she was only too happy to do, both because she was getting paid and because it was something very unique to put on a resumé a little later.

She picked up the phone and clung to it as if it was a lifeline. Which it was for her, because Angela always knew what Yuuri needed to do in times like these. Her friend was probably the only reason that Yuuri had managed to get this far without a breakdown, since she would not be able to have a good image and good performances without a whole lot of outside help.

"Angela!" Yuuri could have cried with relief.

"Hey Yuuri, I'm sure you know why I'm calling: the video from earlier. Ringing any bells?"  
Yuuri nodded before realizing that she was on the phone and voiced her response.

"It's generating mostly positive press for both you and Victor. And because of this, well… I got a call from Victor's publicist earlier in the day, and he had a suggestion that I think would be a good move for you as well."

Yuuri waited for her friend to continue.

"Actually, I kind of already agreed to part of it for you, so don't be too mad. We thought that you and Victor should skate the duet that everyone is clamoring for."

Yuuri sat straight up, half-formed protests struggling to get out of her mouth. The one that eventually won out was, "But neither of us are even pair skaters!"

Angela laughed.

"Knew you'd say that. I figured that in the off season you could afford to take a little more time to do other things, and so we could get a good pairs coach to help the two of you. After all, it would only have to be the one routine. We don't have to make you into pair skaters."

Yuuri begrudgingly accepted this, because it's not as if she could get out of it. Not that she really wanted to get out of it. Spending some time with Victor was not exactly her idea of a bad time, except for her crush which made it hard for her not to freak out whenever he approached her. Hey, not everybody got to be in the same room as their idols. She'd like to see other people try to do better. But she wondered what Angela had been saying about this only being part of it. When she voice this, she was not expecting the response she got.

"Well, I agreed with Victor's management that the logical step after that would be a relationship between the two of you. Both of you are currently single, so there are no problems there, and we think that skating fans everyone would eat it up."

Yuuri sweat-dropped. Was this actually happening to her?

She stumbled through the rest of the conversation, only half-listening, hanging up as soon as she was able to. Almost as a reflex, she restarted her video, but Victor wasn't nearly as calming to watch when she knew that, soon, those perfect arms might be lifting her, and she might be staring right into those gorgeous blue eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of the week was hell for Yuuri. Back in Detroit, she was unable to focus on the ice. She just felt too excited and anxious about the idea of skating with Victor. She had told Celestino the news, which her coach had been overjoyed to hear. He marveled at the opportunity that had been presented to his student. The skating opportunity, that is. Yuuri still hadn't decided what she was going to do about her other option, and wasn't going to discuss her deepest feelings with her coach.

Because of her spotty focus, Celestino told her to only do singles or maybe some doubles as she ran through her program and worked on some of their ideas and potential modifications for the World Figure Skating Championships. It was only a few months away now, why didn't he understand that she needed to be preparing? Yuuri was frustrated; singles wouldn't help her do much to refine her program. She could do them in her sleep. When she told her coach this, all he did was agree with her, telling her that with her lack of focus, she might as well be near-asleep on the ice. Yuuri privately disagreed. They certainly weren't helping her focus any more than she was already struggling to. A little bit more of a challenge would keep her in the moment instead of off in her imagination. What could she say? She had not gotten over her crush on Victor as much as she had thought, that was clear to her now.

Celestino was getting fed up with her as the days wore on. Yuuri sensed this and felt guilty, but even all her effort was leading to some very sub-par practices. She didn't snap out of her daze until Thursday, when she managed to hear one of the comments her coach made under his breath.

"Honestly, if she keeps going on like this, she's not going to end up skating with Nikiforov."

Those words caused Yuuri to straighten up with a start, a panicked rush of adrenaline filling her body. He had hit on what Yuuri herself was most worried about. So far, she hadn't heard anything back from Angela about the situation. What if Victor had decided that he wasn't going to be a part of this after all?

Celestino noticed a pleasant improvement in Yuuri's technique and a return to her previously dedicated practicing as the weeks passed. He wouldn't have been so pleased that the the motivation came from a surge of worry and anxiety. As a coach he tried to do his best to help his student feel at ease at competitions, but he would be the first to admit that (especially in the beginning), he was no miracle worker. Sometimes he made things worse rather than better.

Yuuri had always struggled with her emotions when it came to skating because of all the people and the pressure they added. The more people that watched her, the more nervous she became. Somehow that pressure could also lead to intense interpretations, her emotions worn on her sleeve. This season, Yuuri had taken much more control over her theme and music choice than in the past. She had chosen "isolation" as her theme for the year. She felt for the first time that there was actually an element of her true character hidden within the choreography, leaving her far more vulnerable to the crowd. A certain desperation was present in her routines, a frantic search for someone else. But she was always alone on the ice, even though she might be surrounded by thousands of people. In a odd way, it helped her to work through her emotions because the start of the story of her program was someone who was scared and lonely. Those feelings always filled Yuuri in the moments before she started skating- alone and left to be torn apart by the sharp eyes of the judges, spurred on only by the whims of a fickle crowd. For the first time, embracing her crippling fears was actually an asset instead of a hindrance. She didn't need to pretend to be something that she wasn't. She could show some of her pain (but it was always beautiful pain).

Her routines, though freeing, were also exhausting. Channeling that much (negative) emotion always made her feel drained, and combined with their intense physical demands, Yuuri was starting to feel burnt out. Where could she go next season when she was already reaching so deep? Now that the world had seen this, they would demand more from her. They always did.

As a young fan watching Victor Nikiforov, she had been delighted by each new surprise that he unveiled. Even from his junior days, he was always so driven, always able to pull out something new. Each routine was more mesmerizing than the last. How could he manage to find the willpower to keep going, to keep innovating, to be constantly pleasing others? Yuuri marveled at it. At times she contemplated quitting skating altogether and returning home to Hasetsu. What would it feel like to lift the weight from her shoulders and return to anonymity?

But she did her best to stop herself in her tracks whenever her mind strayed to that dangerously tempting territory. For as much as the sacrifices and demands of skating hurt her, she knew she could never simply walk away. Skating was its own drug; the thrill of finishing a routine and receiving a good score, the high of standing on the podium, followed by a return to the reality. A return to the pain and the early wakeups, all the falls and bruising and tears. And a willingness to do anything to get back to the top, because it was worth all of the sacrifices.

And so Yuuri gritted her teeth and followed her coach's instructions. She drilled her jumps again and again, pushing herself back up after every fall and dismissing her coach's concerns even as her whole body became littered with black and blue splotches. She ran around her apartment before the sun even came up, moving as fast as she could so that she could be present at the rink at half past five, ready for a new round of tortures. She made herself focus, putting everything she had into this, letting all her emotion out on the ice, and putting herself back together at the end of the day. When the pain felt like it was too much, when curious eyes lingered at practice as she sprawled on the ice after a bad landing, she closed her eyes and took a moment to think of what this all would lead to. The thrill of the crowds cheering, all because of her. Yuuri stood up again, as she always would.

She was utterly exhausted as she returned to her apartment. It was already eleven at night, far past when she logically should be sleeping in order to get up so early. Her body needed to rest in order to cope with the abuse she put it through daily, but Yuuri couldn't resist staying a little longer after practice had ended, letting herself go through a little bit of Victor's routine. With the tantalizing potential of skating with her idol, Yuuri had something else to look forward to besides the thrill of victory. The thrill of Victor. Yuuri was embarrassed to admit that, even after several years of seeing him at international competitions, she still freaked out for a moment whenever she caught sight of him. As she had gotten better and started to see him more, she had even exchanged a few words with him, but was always too afraid to try to say anything more than "hello". She had felt like she might pass out when he winked at her after the Grand Prix Finals.

She was finally in bed, already half-asleep, when her phone rang on her bedside table. Sleepily, she answered, wanting nothing more than to flop back into her pillows.

"Yuuri!" Angela cried out from the other end, her loud voice shattering the blissful silence of Yuuri's bedroom. "I have more news for you about Victor! I know that it's been about a month since I brought this idea up, so tell me if this feels too soon but: how do you feel about going to St. Petersburg next week?"

Yuuri lay there, silent for a moment, before reason returned to her.

"Angela, I thought that we were doing this during the off-season. Both Victor and I still have Worlds coming up. This doesn't make sense."

"Well, his team decided, and I agreed, that this would make a wonderful exhibition skate! I suggested that it would be the most effective PR move as a surprise for everyone. If you started a routine, even just saying your exhibition skate was to Victor's song would get rumours going. When he joins you on the ice midway through and it becomes a duet, everyone would go wild!"

Yuuri couldn't deny how much the idea appealed to here. It sounded like something out of a storybook. Well, not really. But the sentiment was still there. And even though she knew it would all be for show, it certainly seemed romantic. The real question was if this was reasonable or not. Could she really afford to take any time away from her preparation for the World Figure Skating Championships?

She said as much to her friend.

"Yuuri, you would still technically be preparing for Worlds, just for the exhibition skate instead. And I don't think the two of you have much to worry about. Your routine difficulty is still higher than all of your opponents there, unless they make dramatic modifications. This is a chance that we cannot let slip away, girl! The only reason I even knew anything about Victor back in college was because of you talking about him all the time. You better not try to say no!"

Yuuri quickly agreed with Angela. Her friend didn't really need to do much to convince her that skating with Victor was the way to go, but she really just worried about how her coach would react.

"Do you think that Celestino will be okay with me missing so much time at the rink?" Yuuri worried.

"I talked to him already and he seemed to think that it would be alright. You know, it will definitely be a different experience with Victor's coaches, and I think that you will learn a lot from this. Plus you get to spend time with Mr. Handsome. Face it, Yuuri: there is no good reason not to do this."

Angela continued her excited chattering for far longer than Yuuri would have liked, and Yuuri finally told her friend to just shut up because some of them really needed to go to sleep. She hung up the phone and pulled her cover up, but Yuuri struggled to make good on her word, tossing and turning and generally feeling too excited to possibly go back to sleep right then. After getting up to put on a sweatshirt, she looked over at her clock to see that it was already midnight. Yuuri groaned. Tomorrow was going to be awful.

Yuuri slowly came to, rolling over so that the sun wasn't in her eyes. Her eyes drifted shut uncontrollably, but she forced herself awake. Coach wouldn't be happy if she was late to practice. She might have to cut her conditioning short if she stayed in bed too much longer. Opening her eyes again, she startled when she realized she hadn't been imagining things. The sun was actually out, which was not a good sign. Her clock said that it was seven. She was an hour and a half late for practice! Yuuri ran around her apartment in a frenzy, tossing on some warmup clothes and grabbing her skating bag before sprinting down the hall of her apartment building. She took the stairs two at a time and didn't slow down until she had gotten to the rink, panting heavily. Celestino and Phichit were already there, and Phichit was working on his spins.

Yuuri awkwardly approached the rink, setting her stuff in the bleachers and spending a few minutes stretching before lacing up her skates and gliding over to her coach. She began apologizing profusely.

"Coach, I am so sorry for missing practice. Please forgive me, I forgot to set my alarm last night and…"

Much to her surprise, Celestino didn't look angry with her in the slightest. Unusual. Normally he was very displeased when skaters missed out on valuable ice time. He smiled a little bit at her. Yuuri did a double take.

"Yuuri, Angela called me last night to talk about your opportunity for a unique exhibition skate, and she said that she was going to call you about it after. She spent half an hour talking to me- I can only imagine how long she must've kept you up."

Yuuri winced in remembrance. Angela might be a great publicist and a great friend, but often she didn't know quite when enough was enough. She started her usual warm-up soon afterwards. Practice seemed to fly by that day, but Yuuri wasn't sure if that was a result of missing the beginning or because of how much she thought about her trip to Russia.

Almost before Yuuri knew it, it was the night before her flight. She sat on her bed, surrounded by a mess of clothes she had decided not to bring. She looked at her poster of Victor, hanging on the back of her door, and smiled. Tomorrow, she would make her dreams into a reality.


	3. Chapter 3

Yuuri was woken up at five in the morning when Phichit strutted into her room and turned the lights on. The fact that she didn't panic and merely launched her pillow at him was a testament to their enduring friendship. In college after she gave him a key, he would randomly pop into her apartment at all hours. She'd come back from class to find him eating cereal in her kitchen, or he would take it upon himself to help her get dressed when she needed to make a good impression somewhere. His help was invaluable to Yuuri who was not particularly fashion conscious. Sometimes she did wonder where he learned to do eyeliner like that, but Yuuri usually focused more on the fact that he could. Yuuri was touched that he considered this an occasion worthy of his assistance at five am, a sacrifice of sleep and of practice.

Once she had dragged herself out of her bed, he followed her into the kitchen, talking at her while she ate. This mostly consisted of some advice for what she should do with Victor.

"Yuuri, you better make a good impression on Victor, you hear me? You do this for the both of us. Break out of your shell, show him the sexy Yuuri that we all saw at the banquet two years ago."

Yuuri blushed, not because of the faint memories she had of the night, but because of the pictures that Phichit had taken that she didn't remember at all. She had started the night feeling a little antsy and hadn't felt confident enough to tell the constantly hovering waiter to stop refilling her glass of champagne. As a result, as the night wore on, Yuuri got less and less sober. Her small size meant that on a good day she struggled to handle alcohol, and drinking that much so quickly? She really had been asking for trouble. Once she started to get tipsy, all her logic and reasoning ceased to exist, and she did some stupid stuff.

Her behavior at the banquet wasn't as crazy as her 21st birthday had been (and she had Phichit to thank for that one), but according to photos, not only had she had a dance-off against a junior skater, but she had also pole danced with Christophe Giacometti. And, as Phichit was reminding her now, Yuuri had been very forward and flirtatious with a number of skaters, up to and including Victor himself. No one had mentioned it to her afterwards and she was only too content to let that be the case, but knowing that she had behaved that embarrassingly in front of Victor had only made her clam up more around him. The banquet was hardly a good first impression. Yuuri hoped that enough time had passed for him to forget about it.

Her friend helped her load her bags into his car, and the pair set off for the airport. The ride was quiet, as Yuuri's nerves took over. All the different worst-case scenarios that she could think of starting running through her head. What if she arrived and Victor took one look at her, deciding that he could never skate with someone like her? Or worse, what if it was all one big joke being played on her? They'd have to be out of their minds to have wanted someone like her to skate with someone like Victor anyways.

Phichit seemed to sense her worries, because he plugged his phone in, and soon familiar music began playing in the car. The soundtrack to _The King and the Skater_ was something that was very dear to both of them. It brought back good memories of the first time that they had watched the movie together. Yuuri let herself think about that instead, pulling herself out of her mind. The two friends laughed about how Yuuri had managed to spill the popcorn all over the sofa, and how they had had to spend about an hour once the credits rolled just picking up popcorn because they couldn't find the vacuum.

By the time they reached the airport, Yuuri was feeling a lot better about herself. Phichit had a way of making everyone feel at ease. It was almost like he had a sixth sense for emotions, because he often sensed how she was feeling before she had even figured it out herself.

"Don't forget about me over in Russia, but go get him, girl!" Phichit joked. Yuuri leaned over and gave him a big hug. She hopped out of the car and grabbed her luggage from the trunk, dumping it on the sidewalk. Yuuri watched as her friend drove away before grabbing her backpack and pulling her suitcase behind her. No going back now.

Yuuri tried to catch a peek of the ground below from where she was sitting, but her aisle seat didn't exactly lend the best view. She couldn't believe that she had finally arrived. The flight had felt almost endless, especially since she and Phichit had jumped the gun a little bit and arrived about three hours early. During the flight she oscillated between feeling intensely excited and nervous, and feeling bored out of her mind. She had tried to nap but that wasn't very successful. As she stepped off the plane and into the airport, she marveled at the unfamiliar letters and sounds that surrounded her. It was odd to have absolutely no clue what anything mean.

Yuuri made her way through customs and collected her suitcase from the baggage claim before realizing that she had absolutely no idea where she was supposed to be going. Frantically, she reached for her phone, praying that Angela had given her some information about her travel arrangements. Yuuri didn't even know the name of her hotel!

When she checked her messages, she started hyperventilating. Apparently she was to be met at the airport by none other than Lilia Baranovskaya herself!

Yuuri had heard a lot about this woman from Minako during ballet classes back in Hasetsu. Minako herself had been a very successful and fairly prominent ballerina before she retired and started teaching dance to others, and she reminisced on her performing days fondly. Yuuri herself wasn't quite sure how the two of them knew each other; for all she knew, Lilia had been a rival of Minako's. Minako had showed Yuuri some footage of Lilia dancing when Yuuri was younger. Yuuri couldn't remember what the video was supposed to teach to her do, but she did remember the beauty of the dance, and carried with her a respect for this woman. This was compounded when the Russian ballerina had been mentioned as a choreographer of Victor's back when he was a junior skater. From what she could remember, Lilia had also been married to Yakov Feltsman. Yuuri wondered a little bit about how the two of them worked together now, but figured it wasn't really any of her business anyways.

She walked outside and searched the group assembled outside. Most of the people waiting appeared to be private taxi drivers, holding signs with names on them, mostly written in the Cyrillic alphabet. It didn't take her long to spot the distinctive dancer, waiting casually in a yellow coat. Yuuri approached her.

"Excuse me, ma'am? Are you Lilia Baranovskaya?" Yuuri asked. Her question was met with a sharp nod.

"I admired your dancing greatly. My ballet teacher, Minako Okukawa, spoke of you very fondly." These words garnered Yuuri a pair of raised eyebrows. Yuuri flushed, realizing she hadn't introduced herself.

"Oh! Pardon my manners- I'm Yuuri Katsuki, pleased to meet you."

The Russian woman still didn't say anything, giving Yuuri an appraising look before turning to go, leaving Yuuri scrambling to follow her. As they walked over to an elegant black car, the older woman finally said something to her.

"You said you took ballet from Minako Okukawa?"

Yuuri nodded, a little confused.

"I expect you to join the other skaters for dance during training. You'll be decent enough."

From what Yuuri had heard whispered by the Russian skaters, "decent" was high praise.

A well-dressed man emerged from the driver's seat of the car and opened the door to the front seat for the former ballerina before letting Yuuri into the back. The sun was already setting here; the time was seven hours ahead, if she remembered correctly. The drive to the hotel was long and deathly silent.

Yuuri was eager to escape the car by the time they finally arrived. She felt uncomfortable around the stern Russian woman, and guiltily hoped that ballet wouldn't take up too much time here. She loved to dance, but she didn't think she would have come to like it if she had learned from Lilia. Yuuri made a beeline for the check-in desk.

Settling into her room, Yuuri made good on her promise to text Phichit.

 _Bad news. Because of the time change I'm not even seeing Victor tonight. All your efforts was wasted lol._

Her friend replied back after a minute, even though it was a Saturday and so he should be in the middle of practice. Yuuri wasn't surprised; he was practically glued to his phone.

 _Noooo, did I wake up at five am for nothing? It's no big deal; did it make you feel more confident today?_

 _Yeah_. Yuuri replied quickly.

 _Then I have done my duty. Gtg celestino is looking at me like he wants to kill me rn._

Yuuri got settled into bed, feeling entirely awake, but making a token effort to go to sleep. She put on her pajamas and crawled into bed. Maybe she should order room service? She dismissed that idea. With her nerves the way they were right now, it might just come back to haunt her tomorrow. She felt a little queasy thinking about it.

Yuuri woke up some time later, when it was still dark outside. She couldn't remember quite when she had actually fallen asleep, but apparently she had been more tired than she had thought. Her phone told her that it was four in the morning local time. She checked her messages from Angela, and she wasn't even needed at the rink until a cushy 7 am, which left her way too much time where she wasn't going to be able to sleep.

She briefly contemplated going running, but that would make her tired and sore, and she wanted to make a good impression. Plus, she didn't know the area at all, and three in the morning probably wasn't the best time to go exploring. But she knew that she wasn't going to be able to fall asleep again.

She pulled up a map on her phone, looking at what was nearby. The rink was only a mile away. Yuuri wished that she could do some skating right now to clear her head. It was times like these where she missed Hasetsu the most, because back home with a key to the rink, she could skate at midnight if she had really wanted to. But she had also been too tired to pop awake early back then.

She remembered her promise to Phichit, and figured that if she had the time, she might as well invest the time in her appearance this morning. Yuuri went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, standing under the hot water until her skin turned pink. She toweled off and grabbed her favorite warm-up clothing, a Team Japan jacket and a pair of soft black pants that managed to be comfortable without looking like her second-favorite pair of pants, some admittedly grungy sweatpants. She pulled out her small bag of makeup, pulling out an eyeliner pencil and getting started on the real challenge.

About fifty tries later, Yuuri had used copious amounts of makeup remover and decided that maybe this was a lost cause. She examined herself in the mirror- her skin looked pretty good, aside from a little redness around her eyes from her failed attempts at makeup. There was no real reason to use makeup for practice anyways. She'd just sweat it off and that would look worse in the long run. Yuuri put in contacts and called it a day.

It was still only 5:30 in the morning by the time she had finished with all this, so Yuuri grabbed some granola bars from her bag. She couldn't do this on an empty stomach. She messed around on her phone (anything to kill time!) before she snapped. She couldn't keep waiting any longer! She felt as if she had been waiting her whole life for this chance anyways. Why should she have to wait a minute longer?

If she remembered right, the rink was only a few blocks away, and there were sure to be someone there by now. Filled with uncharacteristic determination, Yuuri made her way along the quiet and cold streets, victoriously pushing open the doors to the rink. She was glad there was nobody waiting in the lobby because she lost all her confidence really quickly when she tried to go to the locker rooms. She hadn't been paying attention, so she burst into the men's locker room. She quickly realized her mistake, but the damage had been done; Yuuri slunk away to the women's locker room to hide.

Yuuri set her stuff down on the bench and went through her stretches, slowly warming her muscles up and reveling in the sense of satisfaction that she received from it. Yuuri loved the slightly uncomfortable feeling of pushing herself just a little bit past her comfort zone. Her flexibility was also a must for any female skater; if you couldn't do a Bielman, you were missing out on some serious extra points. That's part of the reason that ballet was so important to her cross-training regimine, because it demanded strength and elasticity from her muscles.

Stretched and as ready as she was going to be, Yuuri exited the locker room towards the rink. There were a few skaters who looked to be on the younger side on the rink right now- she swore that she recognized the one with a blonde bob, but she wasn't quite sure from where. The international skating world wasn't huge, so she was sure she had seen him at a competition somewhere. Yuuri grabbed a spot on the bleachers before pulling out her phone, texting Phichit in hopes of receiving some moral support.

 _Finally at the rink, wish me luck!_

She waited for a response, but it seemed like she wasn't going to be getting one. Her friend was probably in class right now anyways. Yuuri was startled when someone sat down next to her, because she hadn't noticed anyone approaching.

"Hello!" they greeted in accented English.

"Hi!" she returned, not looking up from her phone.

"Yuuri Katsuki, right ?" he asked her. Something about that voice was starting to seem very familiar. Yuuri looked up and her heart started beating twice as fast. She would know that distinctive silver hair and gorgeous face anywhere.

"V..Victor?" she stammered out, unsure of what to say. He smiled widely at her and Yuuri thought that she might burst.

"Yes, that's me! You know, it's strange… we've been at so many events together and yet I feel like we barely run into each other!"

Yuuri stared at him, dumbstruck as he continued to chat with her like it was the most natural thing in the world. She tried again and again to formulate what to say in her head, but every time she opened her mouth to speak, she'd close it again. She felt so painfully awkward next to him, the ugly duckling next to the proverbial swan. Why had she been so eager to put herself through this torture- to be so close to him, yet so far away?

She noticed that Victor was looking at her expectantly. Had he asked her a question?

"I'm sorry, what did you just say? I think I missed it."

Victor laughed, and Yuuri relaxed. She seemed to be doing something right.

"I was just wondering about how you chose your theme for this year. I always struggle to find a theme that I can connect with that will still be surprising for my audience, but you seem to be able to do it every year."

Yuuri wasn't quite sure what she said after that. She started rambling about how she never would have guessed that he struggled with themes because of how much she loved his routines every year. Yuuri felt more and more comfortable the longer she talked because Victor didn't say anything, and his face appeared perfectly attentive; he was listening to her without judging her like she had been sure he would. She had gotten to describing how her routines this year felt more true to her personality than ever when the blonde skater came off the ice. He said something to Victor in Russian that sounded accusatory (although, who really knew?), and it caused her idol to blush before shooting back a response. Yuuri wondered privately what made him react that way, but the spell Victor had cast on her was broken and she withdrew into herself again. Victor might seem more than nice enough, but this kid seemed very angry. She sat there uncomfortably until the blonde kid finally said something in English.

"Yakov said that he'll be with you on the ice in fifteen minutes, and that you should start warming up soon."

With that, he stalked away with a palpable aura of irritation that left Yuuri reeling. How could someone so young be so bitter? He almost seemed angry at her for some reason.

"Who was that?" she asked, voicing her thoughts out loud.

"Yuri Plisetsky," Victor replied.

"Oh, another Yuri?" she laughed.

"He's a little put out about that, if you couldn't tell. He thinks it's embarrassing that he shares a name with a female figure skater." Victor seemed to be laughing at this, but Yuuri didn't think having this other Yuri as an enemy was something to joke about. That kid gave her the creeps.

Yuuri pulled out her skates and began lacing them up, making sure that her skate guards were on. Victor gave them a curious look, which Yuuri could understand- they were old and beaten up and covered in stickers, from when she and Yuuko had decided to decorate their skate guards back in middle school. It was something to remind her of home when she was miles and miles away; she had used them through her whole competitive career.

She was surprised to see that his skate guards also seemed to be worn and older. Few if any other skaters she knew got sentimental over their skate guards.

Yuuri smiled shyly at him before gliding onto the rink.


	4. Chapter 4

Yuuri felt a thrill from just skating on the same ice as Victor. Somehow even just seeing him out of the corner of her eye as she skated left her feeling excited. She wasn't sure how she was going to handle actually skating with him, but she was going to find out very quickly.

She was a little surprised to see just Yakov Feltsman at the side of the rink, because hadn't Angela said that there would be a specialized pairs coach to teach them what they needed to know? She knew that the best of Russia trained at this rink; surely there was at least one pairs coach? Yuuri didn't really care; just getting the chance to work with such an accomplished coach was making her feel very nervous.

Yuuri scrambled to follow Victor's lead as he skated over to where his coach waited. Yakov stared at her, sizing her up without preamble. Yuuri felt fear wash over her, but he soon turned away.

"Skate Stammi Vicino for us," he barked at her. Just like that? With no other advice or instruction, he wanted her to go just straight into the routine. She didn't have time to overanalyze it because Yakov was already heading towards the office with an mp3 player in his hand. Victor caught her eye and gave her an encouraging smile. The butterflies in her stomach weren't from nerves anymore, and she felt like she was on top of the world. Victor seemed excited for her to skate his program, so she'd do it. And she'd do it well.

She felt oddly at ease when she started to skate, each move filled with determination to prove herself worthy. The first steps of the song were her favorite, because they focused so much on showing the emotion, the longing, that the skater had. She tried her best to preserve that desperate searching in the enticing arm movements and seemingly lazy spins that made up the song's opening. When she came to the first jump, she made the split second decision not to downgrade the jump. Yuuri gritted her teeth as she took off into a quad toe loop, closing her eyes and preparing for a rough landing. Trying a quad wasn't a good idea; she had landed a quad only one other time in her life out of many attempts in practice, so what made her think that she would be able to do it now, when it mattered the most to her?

Yuuri dug deep to find the strength in her core, praying that all the work she had done to improve her balance would pay off and let her stay on her feet,. Her hand brushed the ice as she landed, but she hadn't fallen. She nearly stopped in shock, but her body kept going on autopilot, caught up in the song. When the next jump came, her legs felt like gelatin. She focused as much as she could on technique in a triple flip. She wobbled on landing, but was overjoyed to achieve the full amount of rotations. Yuuri felt herself begin to tire, even with her incredible stamina. Victor's program was front-loaded with difficult jumps, and was designed to challenge a ridiculously fit male skater. Yuuri could skate far longer than other female skaters, but in competitions, her programs didn't place a demand this great upon her. She continued to ignore the signals that her muscles were sending her, even though she knew she'd be sore tomorrow because of this.

By the time the music was finally over, Yuuri struggled to even hold the ending pose. After a few seconds that seemingly took more willpower to withstand than her successful quad jump earlier, she broke the pose and bent over, panting. That had taken so much out of her. The rest of the day might be a challenge.

But somehow, Yuuri didn't mind the feeling of dead tiredness that lingered in her bones. The ability to do that routine had been earned through pain; the price of beauty in the figure skating world was hours of suffering, all for a few minutes where the judges coldly ripped you apart. When she had regained some of her breath, she turned back and tried her best to drag herself over to Victor and Yakov. Both men simply stared at her. Yuuri worried. What had she done wrong? Probably flubbed a jump or something like that. Technicalities had never been her strong suit.

What she wasn't expecting was for Victor to launch himself at her, all the while muttering excitedly in Russian. Yuuri stiffened as he suddenly wrapped her in a tight hug, leaving her no room for escape. Victor released her after a long moment when his mind caught up with what he had done. His hand flew to the back of his neck, and he gestured apologetically.

"Sorry if that was too forward of me, but that was absolutely amazing! What a beautiful story. Plus you landed a quad jump!" Victor's sudden shyness disappeared quickly as he grew more and more excited. Yuuri blushed at the praise. Yakov cleared his voice, and the pair turned around to face him. Yuuri smiled widely at him, unable to hide the good mood that she was in.

He looked appraisingly at Yuuri, approval in his eyes.

"I do not think that we need to work more on this currently. Good work."

Unfortunately the energy that the praise had given Yuuri was quick to fade as she and Victor began to work on individual technique. The goal here was to try to mimic each other's technique and timing to prepare for skating together. Yakov had a lot to say about her jumps now that she was tired and making mistakes, which Yuuri appreciated in theory. It was great to work with a world-renowned coach and she was sure that he was helping her, but it meant that Yuuri frequently didn't meet his expectations in practice. Plus, it was hardly fair to expect her to match Victor jump for jump after a program like she had just skated. Just as this was beginning to grate on her, the focus of practice shifted to spins and footwork sequences, and Yuuri had room to breathe again. Apparently her footwork was more than passable (and if she dared to think it, better than Victor's). Yuuri nodded when she was told this; it wasn't anything she didn't know before. Her programs were choreographed to reflect this after all, with a greater focus on good presentation than difficulty, though of course her routines had to be difficult enough to win.

They finally got a break to get something to eat around noon, and Yuuri couldn't have been happier. By skating so intensely at the beginning of practice, she had wanted nothing more than a break or food ever since. She was thankful for her stamina, but in order to maintain that fitness, it took days like these, with few breaks and lots of hard work. Yuuri took off her skates and dried the blades, placing them carefully back into her bag. She grabbed her things and walked out the rink doors, towards where she had seen a coffee shop earlier. Maybe she could get a sandwich there?

She found the café easily enough, but was disheartened to see the menus were written entirely in the undecipherable Cyrillic alphabet. She tried to speak to the staff, but from the confused looks she got, none of them spoke English. Yuuri opened the door to turn and go, slamming into someone on the other side. She apologized profusely to the man in the red warmup suit, belatedly realizing that it was Victor. He smiled at her.

"No problem. I should have been looking where I was going." Yuuri made to continue on her way, but he looked at her curiously.

"Did you already get something to eat here? I left the rink not far behind you. They must have excellent service."

Yuuri wasn't sure if it was possible for her to get redder than she was now, but her face certainly seemed willing to try as she explained her predicament.

"Actually, I was going to try to find somewhere to eat where the staff spoke English, because my grasp of Russian is nonexistent. I have no idea what anything on the menu is."

Victor lit up and started chattering before Yuuri knew what was happening. Contrary to the suave image he presented to the public, he was excitable and almost hyperactive.

"Don't worry, I'll help translate! It's the least that I can do after you came all the way to St. Petersberg."

Yuuri's first instinct was to protest this generosity, but her stomach quickly decided to accept his help. She smiled gratefully and sat down at a table. Yuuri wasn't sure why she felt so surprised when Victor slid into the seat across from her (he had said he would help her after all) but it made her feel strangely warm inside.

Victor looked at the menu on the boards and began reading out the options.

"Um, Victor? That all sounds very good, but I don't really know anything about Russian food. What would you recommend that I get?"

"I think that you would like pirozhki! It's a bun with a filling inside- they are kind of like a sandwich? There are sandwiches here too, but I think that you will like it."

Yuuri shrugged.

"Sounds good to me!"

Victor went up to the counter and ordered for her. Yuuri listened carefully even though she had no idea what was being said. Even though he was probably just talking about food, his voice caused Yuuri to flush again. Why did his voice have to sound so sexy? She sat across from him as they waited for their food, unsure of what to say. Yuuri caught herself staring at Victor. She made eye contact with him several times, quick to look away each time. His eyes seemed teasing, laughing at her every time she looked away and inviting her to continue to stare into them.

Victor pulled out his phone and she contemplated doing the same so that she wouldn't feel so out of place, but she was surprised when he handed his phone to her. She noted absently that his phone case looked like his free skate costume.

"I took a video when you skated the routine earlier, if you want to see?"

Yuuri hit play, curious about how she had looked. She was taken aback by the Yuuri she saw in the video; could that really be her? Her jumps were some of the best they'd and the quad looked somehow easy, even though she knew from her aching muscles that it hadn't been. More importantly, there was a layer to her emotional interpretation that hadn't ever been there before with this program. She tried her best to analyze it, but couldn't put a finger on what it was. She paused for a moment when the video ended before handing it back to Victor.

"I can send it to you if you'd like. What's your number?"

Yuuri nearly started hyperventilating, even though she knew realistically it was nothing she should be getting so worked up about. He had made that request seem so casual. He obviously had plenty of girls' numbers. She still put her number in his contacts though, and smiled when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Maybe she'd send it to Phichit later.

Yuuri was both disappointed and glad when their food arrived. The two of them devoured their meal very quickly, and no words were exchanged. The pirozhki were delicious, just like Victor had promised. Even without talking to him (and she found that Victor made talking easy, even for someone as shy as she was), she liked just being around him, because it was so different than what she had been expecting. From his attitude in practice (strangely lazy and filled with distractions and chatting, but somehow yielding excellent results) to lending her his skill with the Russian language, he managed to surprise her. She recalled an interview from when he was younger where he said that his goal in skating was to surprise the audience.

Yuuri had never really been one for surprises before, but she found that she was coming to enjoy them.


	5. Chapter 5

Yuuri had always loved ballet, initially just because of Minako. The older woman had been so kind to Yuuri when she was just a girl. It helped that with the dwindling number of students in Hasetsu, there were very few students in any of her classes, and Yuuri got lots of attention. Minako managed to instill technique within her, and the movements of dancing began to feel as natural as breathing. Part of it might have been that Yuuri did a lot of practice on her own. The more ballet she did, the more that she liked it. Yuuri could still remember the excitement that she had felt when Minako gave her a key to the studio. She had spent hours dancing, day bleeding into night, relishing in the fact that she could. As Yuuri started skating and her feet grew more important, she abandoned her childhood dream of dancing en pointe in favor of preserving her feet. She tried her best to incorporate more ballet into her skating routines as her visits to the studio decreased. But she never stopped dancing.

Lilia seemed to be testing her resolve to continue, however. A constant stream of corrections flowed from her lips as Yuuri warmed up at the barre. Turn out, leg higher, point you toes. Yuuri had heard them all from Minako thousands of times before, but with Lilia, each one sounded like an accusation. She continued on though, trying her best to incorporate the critiques, conscious of Victor dancing across from her. She glanced across at him, noting his flawless positioning. One person shouldn't be allowed to have it all, yet Victor possessed world-class skating skills, ballet technique worthy of a professional, and good looks.

They transitioned to the center of the room, where Lilia grew even more critical of Yuuri, if such a thing was at all possible. Every stray movement was catalogued and, more often than not, commented upon. Yuuri couldn't let her focus drop for even a second because those sharp eyes would definitely notice. Though she was intensely focused, the movements were taking a toll on her body, especially after the rough treatment she had put herself through during the morning's practice. Yuuri desperately tried to hold her arabesque, but she felt her legs muscles tremble with the effort.

Perhaps Lilia wasn't entirely monstrous, because only a few moments later she told them to take a break. Yuuri sagged out of position and went out to where she had left her water bottle in the hallway. She sat on the floor to take the pressure off of her protesting legs and drank deeply. She nearly choked on her water when Victor sat down next to her.

"Great work in there," he said with a smile.

Yuuri snorted. Clearly, that was not the case. If the amount of things that Lilia had to say were any indication.

"I'm hardly doing well here. The amount of times that she's corrected me so far…"

"Don't let that bother you. Lilia is a taskmaster. She refuses to even bother training a few of the skaters at the rink, you know. Took one look at their dancing and refused to bother."

Yuuri wasn't sure what to say to that. It was a relief to know that she wasn't necessarily so bad. At the same time, it still hurt to not be quite good enough. It was the same way that she felt when she was skating; she could pour emotion into her movements, but that didn't make them match the judges' exacting sense of perfection.

"Besides, I think that we are going to work on lifts after this, so I'll be getting yelled at a lot more, too!" Victor added, somehow still sounding cheerful even in the face of a lecture from Lilia. When they walked back into the studio, his suspicions were confirmed.

"In dance, your partner is your ally on the stage. You must trust your partner to match you at all times, and you must trust your partner immensely with each lift that you perform. There is a reason that we are starting with lifts in here rather than on the ice. I have no doubt that the two of you could technically do it, but here is where we establish the bonds of trust and partnership."

Yuuri blushed as she glanced at Victor.

"Now, you don't need to learn very advanced or impressive lifts. What we really want to develop here is the story of the routine, which begins with the chemistry between the two of you on the ice. Proper timing and good emotion can transform the incredibly basic lifts that you will perform. Yuuri, turn around. Victor, put your hands on her waist."

All of a sudden they were both close, so close that Yuuri could feel Victor's breath tickle the back of her neck. And then his hands were on her, feeling absolutely electric. It seemed to ignite a fire in Yuuri's nerves.

"Yuuri, you are going to jump, and Victor is going to help lift you. Do not try to hold her at the top. We just want to establish good timing."

Yuuri bent her legs and propelled herself into the air. With the added boost from Victor's muscular arms, she felt herself nearly to Victor's head. Yuuri felt like she was flying, but she descended rapidly.

"Victor, you shouldn't grip her waist that tightly. You'll leave bruises. Again. Lift her higher."

The pace of the lesson rarely slowed down for the next hour. It was a constant stream of instructions from Lilia, coupled with a few lectures that served as breaks for the skaters. The feeling of Victor's hands on her began to feel comforting and familiar, because Yuuri knew that he would do his best to catch her when she fell. Lilia made them do the same lift again and again until Yuuri's legs were perfectly in position and Victor hardly needed to shift his weight to use his legs to lift her. Her torso felt a little bruised from when Victor had gripped a little bit too tight, but she didn't say anything. Because she knew he would apologize profusely and demand that they stop so he didn't continue to hurt her. And Yuuri didn't want this to stop.

But even the fittest of athletes tire eventually, and she and Victor were no exception. She found it harder to jump, and she was sure that Victor's arm muscles must be protesting. She was small and therefore fairly light, but she definitely liked to indulge in some of her favorite foods once in awhile. In the beginning of her career, people on the Internet called her fat, and though she knew that it wasn't true, it stung. She tended to avoid social media because of this.

Their technique started to suffer significantly, and Lilia finally had had enough. She dismissed them for the day, telling them to get some rest because tomorrow they may start learning choreography. Yuuri was glad to slip on a pair of sweatpants, enjoying the warmth they gave her aching muscles. Her stomach audibly growled, and Victor turned to her.

"Oh? You are hungry? Then we should go to dinner!"

Yuuri acquiesced, guilt at shamelessly taking advantage of Victor's hospitality quashed by the intense hunger she was feeling. Lunch had been nearly five hours ago, and she needed something to eat. Victor started walking, his long strides dwarfing hers, and Yuuri had to hurry to catch up as they went out the door. Her legs were not happy about the speed that she was going. She followed him into some sort of fast-food style restaurant. Yuuri had never been a big fan of this sort of food, but they were also both wearing sweatpants so they didn't have too many other options. She trusted that Victor would choose something remotely healthy. Yuuri sat down in the chair, almost falling into it because of her lack of control over her legs.

"It's times like these when I miss the onsen back home the most," she mused.

"Oh? What is this onsen? Is it a kind of food?" Victor asked.

"No, no," Yuuri laughed. "It's a bath fed by a hot spring. My family runs an inn in Japan and the onsen is part of it. It's very soothing when I have sore muscles."

"That sounds perfect right now. I shall have to go to Japan and try it myself one day!"

Yuuri looked down at her feet, realizing that she hadn't managed to make it home in nearly four years. More than the onsen, she missed her family. Victor seemed to pick up on her sudden gloom, and he looked at her questioningly.

"I haven't been home in four years. The only times I've been back in Japan have been for the NHK Trophy. My Grand Prix event assignments created a training schedule where I just didn't have time to make a trip home."

Silence followed this announcement, and Victor got up and went to the counter. Yuuri sat there, running through the conversation in her head and mentally hitting herself. Victor looked strangely serious when he came back.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to share so much earlier. I know that it must be annoying to hear me whine, but…"

Victor held up a hand as if to cut her off.

"No, no need to apologize. I just realized, well… we are skating a routine about love and I realized how little I actually know about you. But we can get to know each other better tonight!"

"What?" Yuuri sputtered. That seemed very direct, even based on what the tabloids sometimes said about the man. Surely he couldn't mean to say...

"That is, if you want to talk to me over dinner?!" Victor questioned. Yuuri relaxed, feeling a little bit ashamed for having assumed the worst about Victor's character. She nodded.

"So, what was it like to grow up in Japan? How did you even get into skating in the first place? I know here in Russia it is a popular sport because of our colder climate, but I can't imagine that it is as much of an institution there."

Yuuri smiled, happily describing first her ballet lessons with Minako, and then the day that she met Yuuko. The other girl had latched onto Yuuri immediately on the first day of school and played with her; the rest, as they say, was history. Yuuri and Yuuko did nearly everything together, and so naturally her friend wanted Yuuri to skate too.

"Little did we know what that would lead to," Yuuri laughed. "I have so much to thank Yuuko for. Her family owns the rink in town and she gave me my own key around middle school and told me that I could skate whenever I needed to. It really helped me with my anxiety; whenever I was beginning to feel overwhelmed, the rink was just a few minutes away."

Victor nodded in understanding.

"For me, skating was less of a refuge and more of a chore because my parents got me a coach as soon as I started showing promise. But I didn't let the hard work take away the joy of skating. I used that as my motivation all through my younger years," he added.

Yuuri reached down to grab another bite of food, only to realize that their meals were long gone. Victor seemed to notice this too, getting to his feet. Yuuri also stood, not wanting this to be over. It felt slightly unreal to be casually sitting and eating dinner with him, even though she had quickly come to realize that the Victor she was getting to know was very different from the one he presented to the public. Yuuri turned to go back towards her hotel and noticed that Victor was still with her.

"Let me walk you back to your hotel?" Victor asked. Yuuri's heart melted a little bit more. He was such a gentleman! As they walked, before she even knew what she was saying, Yuuri had launched into another story.

"Anyways, the reason I even started skating seriously was because of you, actually. Yuuko and I watched you together on television and would try to imitate your routines. I got frustrated when I couldn't do any remotely similar jumps and decided that it was time to learn more, so that I could one day skate on the same ice as you."

Yuuri belatedly shut her mouth. She wasn't sure what could have been more embarrassing to let slip to Victor, except for maybe the wall of posters of him that she was pretty sure still covered her bedroom walls.


	6. Chapter 6

Watch out, here comes some fluff. I couldn't resist even if it might seem kind of sudden :).

She had essentially told Victor that he had been her childhood idol. Which was just as mortifying as it sounded. It made her feel like she wanted to hide in her hotel for the rest of her time in St. Petersburg. She was so caught up in her own embarrassment that she hadn't bothered to look back at Victor. She only noticed when she was walking alone, Victor having stopped in his tracks. He stared at her with wide eyes.

"Wha...what's wrong Victor? Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry if you think that it's odd that I'm a fan, but…"

Yuuri trailed off as Victor began to take slow, casual steps. He slung his arm around her as they continued to walk, leaving her intensely conscious of his hand on her shoulders.

"Don't doubt yourself, Yuuri. I'm just so surprised that I managed to inspire you, because if you'd hear Yakov tell it, when I was a teenager nobody should have looked up to me. I admit, I behaved poorly. To be honest, after nearly ten years of Yakov, we're both getting tired of each other. I was even considering retiring recently, up until I saw the video of you skating my routine. That's when I knew that I had to keep going, so that I could skate with you."

Victor said that so very smoothly and casually that Yuuri had trouble discerning if he was joking with her or not. For all she knew, he was just playing with her. But what if he really meant it? What if she had somehow, impossibly, managed to inspire him the way that he inspired her? Yuuri nearly passed out because of how much blood was suddenly flowing to her already-red cheeks. She had wanted nothing more than to skate with Victor ever since she was learning to skate, and she had jumped at the opportunity, even if he saw it only as a publicity stunt. If he had been the one who wanted her to come and skate with him? She tried not to dwell on it because she felt too uncomfortable asking him about it. Yuuri felt her eyes beginning to well with tears, though she wasn't sure if they were from happiness that Victor had actually taken notice of her, or sadness from the possibility that he was just playing around. She stared back up at him, becoming aware of how closer they were.. Despite the warmth that Victor provided, Yuuri began to feel the acute chill of Russia at night and she started shivering in the cold. She leaned closer almost unconsciously, noticing every time her hand brushed near his on the walk back to her apartment.

The moment that she was in her hotel room, Yuuri threw herself onto her bed and took out her phone. Any calm that had she had managed to pretend to possess was almost instantly gone, and the full implications of what she had just done hit her hard. She had to tell someone about what had just happened. Phichit had better respond to her calls or so help him.

He didn't answer on her first call, so she called again. Yuuri just started talking before he could even ask what was going on. She had to get it all out before she exploded. Her whole trip so far came out in a disorganized blob that confused even her, and would probably be incomprehensible for her friend. She bounced from ballet to lunch to the walk back from the restaurant, then (almost as an afterthought) to her skating.

"I freaked out and then I told him that he was my skating crush and the next thing I knew he was hugging me and then I was crying and…"

Yuuri paused and collected her thoughts, starting over again and working her way through the dinner that had just happened. All her awkward moments and Victor's natural poise. The crush that totally hadn't gone away. Her secret hopes that he might be flirting back.

Her friend just listened as Yuuri released all of her emotions. Phichit wondered in the back of his mind how much she had skated today. She tended to have more trouble working through her emotions the longer it had been since she had hit the ice. Whenever Yuuri skated, she put her heart and soul into it, even for practice. That's what made her so entrancing to watch, but it also meant that she hadn't come up with many ways to cope with emotions except for skating. There was no need most days because of how much she trained anyways. Normally she could purge emotions almost as soon as they built up.

"Yuuri," he interrupted. "Have you skated since this morning?"

Yuuri cut herself off, mid-rant, noting that she hadn't been on the ice at all after lunch. Back in Detroit, she skating for a little while in the mornings. The skating competition schedule had impacted her schoolwork tremendously- because she was pursuing her degree, she left the rink for her 8 am classes most days, and did the bulk of her practice at night. She knew that she didn't have the healthiest way of dealing with stress or emotional problems, but normally that worked well enough for her. Yuuri ached to be on the ice again and very nearly hung up to follow that impulse, but she realized that she didn't have ice time here the way that she did elsewhere.

"Actually, I haven't done too much skating since this morning. They made me skate Stammi Vicino for them and then we did a lot of work on technique. Oh! That reminds me, Victor took a video of me. I'll email it to you now."

She sent him the video and waited for a few minutes so that her friend had a chance to watch it. There wasn't much noise coming from the other end, with the exception of a sudden squawk.

"Yuuri. Yuuri. Why didn't you talk about your routine first? This is literally the best I have ever seen you skate before. And since when were you able to land a quad? I know that all this stuff with Victor is a really big deal, but that's something else! I think only one girl had actually managed to land one in competition," Phichit gushed. Yuuri smiled at his enthusiasm.

"You should totally post some of it to Instagram. I'm sure that your followers would love it just as much as I do, and you're hardly ever on social media. It's not fair to keep this from the world!"

Yuuri chuckled, taking his idea into consideration. She didn't like social media because, for all the good and wonderful and innocent things there, there was a cruel darker side that popped up every once in awhile to remind her of why she tended to stay away. She was really proud of the way that she had managed to skate today though. She and Phichit continued to chat, and she heard a little bit more about how training was going without her, but she hadn't been gone very long.

When she had hung up with her friend, she opened Instagram and was overwhelmed by the flood of notifications waiting for her there. She looked through her feed; mostly selfies of Phichit, with a few pictures of other skaters sprinkled in there for good measure. Phichit wasn't really fair when he had said that she was never on social media; it hadn't even been a long time since she had posted, really. There was a picture of her on the podium at the finals, about a month ago now.

She could almost hear her Thai friend complaining though, so she edited the video down to the first minute. "Take two" she typed quickly, posting the video before putting her phone down and crawling under the covers.

The next morning Yuuri startled awake, looking at the clock and realizing it was already six. She scrambled to get ready, arriving at the rink half an hour later looking far from her best, but with just enough time to stretch properly and make sure she was warmed up. Yakov and Victor both materialized at seven o'clock on the dot, and she and Victor did a few quick laps before returning to Yakov for further instruction.

"Yesterday you worked on making your jumps more uniform. Today we work on shadow skating. We want the skating to be flawlessly together because the lifts aren't going to be comparable to those of the professional pairs skaters. A good rapport between the two of you can go a long way towards erasing your mistakes in the eyes of the audience. Your spins must be at the same speeds and every aspect of your jumps must be synchronized, but we need an emotional connection as well."

He had them start with basic footwork. Yuuri was disoriented with someone so close to her as she skated. The last person that she had skated with in a way even remotely like this was Yuuko. She felt paranoid of her every movement, terrified that she would get too close and cause an accident. She tried her best to match Victor's edges but her movements were always slightly behind his. Yuuri managed to sync up with him, but something still felt off, or missing. There were no technical problems occurring but she knew skating was lacking her usual emotion and passion. Was it possible that she had somehow used up all her excitement about skating with Victor before they even really worked together? With these basic moves it was hard to show emotion anyways.

Yuuri tried to inject some of the longing and confusion that she was feeling because of Victor into her movements, but only succeeded in offsetting their movements slightly. She sighed as Yakov told them to start the footwork combination again. This wouldn't work if they were trying to tell two different stories. Victor was skating with a lazy confidence. Yuuri tried to force a similar half-smile onto her face. With that calm and proud veneer, perhaps they could be king and a queen, regally observing their subjects gathered before them.

Yuuri could almost feel the change in their movements as much as she struggled to put on airs while she skated. Her devotion to the ice was usually paramount in her skating, and it was rare for her to try to put herself about it. But now she and Victor were on the same plane, their movements amplified by the other. Yakov praised them for their work, but it felt a little hollow to Yuuri. They were hardly a partnership yet, because Victor didn't seem to sense her at all. He continued skating as he always had, while she bent over backwards to please him. The routine that they were skating together was about a finally realized love, not a one-sided pining!

Yakov's criticism began anew with new footwork in a new pattern. Victor didn't even seem to notice what was being said; come to think of it, he had been very distracted all morning. He barely seemed to listen to Yakov, and it didn't seem like joking indifference. She wondered what had happened to put him out of it like that. At closer examination, the look in his eyes was almost unseeing and slightly worried, not haughty pride like she had first thought. A mask, then.

Things certainly didn't improve. They stood before Yakov as he ranted yet again about the importance of a good emotional connect when Yuri Plisetsky burst out of the locker room.

"Katsuki!" he screamed, nearly making Yuuri fall over. Yakov raised an eyebrow, but Victor didn't seem surprised. Looking back on this moment, it would make this morning's attitude clear, but as for now Yuuri assumed that he was really so far gone that nothing could make him react.

"What is this?" he growled, holding his phone out over the barrier. Glancing at Yakov, she hurried over to see whatever had gotten him so worked up. It was the video of her skating from yesterday.

"A video of me skating?" she replied, confused. Why was the other Yuri so angry about this? It's not like he was in the video. She was well within her right to post a video of herself to her own Instagram.

"Yes. A video of you skating. At this rink. And all the fans know who else skates at this rink!" he raged.

"Do you know what kind of rumors are going around social media right now? My fangirls literally won't leave me alone. There's a growing mob outside the rink. Everyone wants answers about why the hell you are in Russia."


	7. Chapter 7

Yuuri felt her eyes widen. "Oh my god, I'm so... I wasn't thinking!" She stumbled over her words in a rush to apologize. She made a mental note to kill Phichit later for suggesting she post the video. She knew there was a reason why she rarely used her social media, and it was moments like these.

"Exactly!" Yuri hissed, "and now thanks to your stupidity we are all going to be stalked for the rest of the day. No, the rest of the week, and maybe longer! Nice going, Katsuki."

"Yuri, she didn't mean to cause anything," Victor interjected, skating over calmly. He casually put his arm around her waist, causing Yuuri's heartbeat to pick up as if she was in the middle of skating a routine. Yuuri blushed furiously. She was grateful that Victor (quite literally) had her back, but she felt too flustered to properly argue with Yuri right now.

"Victor, you're the whole reason that she's even here- you're the one skating with her. How could you let her post that stupid video and set all of this off?" Yuri whined. He swiped at his hair angrily, messing it up in what he probably thought was an intimidating way. Yuuri privately thought he looked like an angry cat. Then Victor gave her a reassuring squeeze on the waist and she nearly stopped thinking entirely.

"Yuri, I was the one who took the video in the first place. I don't see the problem here- it's just a video of her skating. It's her choice to post it. Anyway, the whole reason that this is happening is to practice for the Worlds exhibition. A little extra publicity and mystique never hurt, no?"

Yuuri scowled and put his earbuds in before retreating back into the locker room. His music was turned up so loudly in an attempt to block out the outside world that Yuuri could hear the vicious drums from where she stood. The sound of the slamming door echoed through the rink. Victor finally let go of her, and Yuuri let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding as the teen disappeared from view.

"Victor, thanks for defending me back there."

"Of course," he replied, "Yuri, as I'm sure you've noticed, can be quick to anger. It was unfair of him to accuse you like that. It was beautiful skating." Yuuri smiled and ducked her head. "I am sorry I was so... distracted this morning. I didn't know if you were aware of the reaction to your video, and I didn't want to make you worry about it before you had to."

Yuuri felt a surge of guilt. She hadn't managed to reconcile her stereotype of Victor the Celebrity Skater (flirtatious yet aloof, and way out of her league) with the Victor she was actually skating with. She had assumed, since he was being cold this morning after yesterday's dinner, that he regretted his choice to spend time with her outside of the rink. Even finding out about the popularity of the video, she had thought that he was mad at her because the video revealed part of the surprise. Yuuri felt heartened that he seemed to just be trying to protect her, then immediately chastised herself for thinking that way. Victor probably wasn't thinking as much about all of this as she was.

Yakov told them, rather abruptly, to take a break. They hadn't skated for very long yet that morning, and Yuuri felt slightly confused until Yakov stormed off to the lobby, already wearing a grimace and cursing under his breath. Yuuri sat down on the bleachers, pulling out her phone for the first time this morning. She winced at the amount of notifications that she was seeing on the screen, before biting the bullet and opening up Instagram. She nearly screamed, because there were already hundreds of thousands of views, and way more comments than had ever appeared on anything she posted before. Knowing that she shouldn't go any farther without calling Angela, Yuuri couldn't resist scrolling through some of them.

She closed the app very quickly after that, because some of the theories as for why she was there were a little bit graphic, and way ruder than they needed to be. Yuuri dialed Angela's number. Her nerves lessened as the phone rang; Angela would tell her what she needed to do to navigate this situation.

"Angela!" she cried out the moment the other woman picked up. "You saw the video. Help me!"

Angela chuckled.

"Already on it. Good job, by the way. Here's a general breakdown of the situation. So far, the general consensus among the fans is divided. Last night, it became a trending video on Instagram but other than that, there was just general excitement and praise for your skating and the quad you landed. Things changed at some point after that when one of Yuri Plisetsky's fangirls made the connection with the rink. Good so far?"

"Yeah, I'm following."

"Okay, so after that, the fan theories get a little bit wild. The current most popular one is that you are in Russia for special training to improve your jumps because it's well known that Feltsman is a jump expert. Nearly tied with that one is the theory that you are involved with one of the skaters at the rink, but people can't decide between Victor, Mila Babicheva, or both."

Yuuri blushed at the idea.

"We want to give your fans an explanation about this before things can get too wild, so we have a few options. We could tell them the truth, but I don't think that we should waste the surprise of the exhibition skate on quelling the rumors. Victor's publicists think that revealing a relationship between the two of you is the easiest way to end this. It wouldn't totally diffuse the situation, and would probably lead to more gossip, but it would bring more attention to both of you and cause the reveal at Worlds to be more impactful."

"Um, do whatever you need to in order to fix this, Angela. You're the pro here; I just want to be able to skate without a crowd of reporters around the rink!" Yuuri hung up soon after. Everything was starting to sink in for her and she felt a surge of nervous energy. It was like the early days of her career all over again; she felt almost immobilized when she stopped and thought about how many people had seen that video of her skating. It had been a very personal moment. Had coming to Russia been a mistake?

Yakov came back soon after, and Yuuri gratefully followed him onto the ice, praying for something to help her forget about the outside world. The gruff man obliged, presenting her and Victor with the beginning of the choreography of their duet, starting from Victor's entrance. The music wasn't on yet, but she could almost hear it in his body.

They met in the middle, slowly stumbling their way through the first few movements. Individually they were both the epitome of grace and technically perfect but together the routine wound up looking awkward and a little bit wrong. Yuuri saw each step Victor took, each graceful turn that he made, and tried to follow as best she could, but she lacked the emotional focus to try to match him this time around. Her thoughts were unstructured and she found herself dwelling on the video. She never skated well when she was distracted. There were a few fleeting moments where she felt one with the characters they were trying to create. However, all too often she felt herself lagging despite her best efforts. Yakov looked on disapprovingly all the while.

She felt their skating slowly grow more harmonious even though she was still nervous. Looking at Victor, she noticed him responding to her movements. The combinations began to flow together. It finally felt natural to be moving in tandem with Victor.

Yakov stopped them, playing the music so that they could get a sense of how fast they would need to move. It took some adjusting, but soon they were fluid again. He stopped them, and Yuuri realized what must be happening almost before he said it. She felt a nervous flutter at the idea of actually trying lifts on the ice.

"This is where the first lift happens in the program. It doesn't go very far above the ice at all- you will simply grab her waist and spin. Lilia believes, and I agree, that you might be able to attempt it today."

Yuuri stiffened as she felt Victor approach from behind her for the lift, and launched herself off the ice as he raised her, the same way they had practiced with Lilia. In that moment, everything was going just right. Victor spun underneath her, and put her down gently on the ice.

"That was passable," Yakov commented. Yuuri grinned broadly at Victor, catching her breath. "Victor, let her slide past you at an angle on the landing. Once we have gotten this a couple of times safely, I'll let you do the footwork going into it."

They continued to repeat the lift. Some of them wobbled more than others, but to her amazement, Victor never truly dropped her. There were a few lifts that felt more like controlled falls, but neither skater crashed to the ground even when they ended up on the ice. The bruises that she was acquiring weren't anything particularly novel or painful, so Yuuri considered it a success. Yakov evidently thought that that was good enough for now, because he started the music again, from the same place as before. The pair of skaters started their footwork, getting into position for the lift. It was all over before Yuuri could even blink, and she was shocked by how simple it felt.

Yakov gave them a few more choreographic sequences which grew steadily harder. The mounting physical demands of the movement was the real challenge, because the more they practiced the less they were able to do. By the time Yakov told them to go stretch, they felt exhausted but had about a minute of the choreography nearly perfected. Victor's phone rang as he stretched a little distance from Yuuri. Her ears strained to hear even though she knew it wasn't polite. He was speaking in Russian, so she needn't have bothered.

She was about to head into the locker room when she felt a hand tap her on the shoulder. She turned to find Victor with a goofy smile on his face.

"Yuuri! I got a call from my publicist, and… I have something I need to ask you. Will you be my girlfriend?"

Yuuri allowed herself a moment to think that this was all real, that Victor really did like her as much as she liked him. And she let herself hope that one day maybe it could be real. But for now she had to content herself with the lie that they were telling the world, a shadow of what might have been. So she plastered the same theatrical smile onto her face.

"Victor, this is such a surprise! But of course!" she joked, words tainted with a strangely bitter sarcasm.

She disappeared into the locker room immediately after, changing into comfortable clothing and removing her mask of happiness and cheer. Was it acceptable to mourn something that never even happened? Her childhood fantasy was technically being fulfilled, but this was far from how she had intended any of it to be. To the public, she was living the dream, a world-class figure skater dating a world-class figure skater. Hardly even a real surprise. Yuuri didn't really want a relationship between the shells of professional skaters that the press got to see. Her thirst for victory was working against her; she always wanted more than she told herself she did.

Before, she might have been content to have Victor any way that she could, even if it was all a farce. But some traitorous part of her mind had begun to see the real possibility of a relationship with Victor. The Victor she had gotten to know yesterday. The one she had hoped was beginning to see the real her, too.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Sorry for the slow updates! I'm not really sure what direction I want to take this story in, so everything is taking a while. I'm not quite sure what's happening in this chapter, but it felt like it kind of fit?

When Yuuri met with Victor in the lobby, she could sense the change that had come about him. Playboy Victor was back, evident in his smooth gait and careful flicks of hair. The life and energy that was always evident in his eyes was hidden by a pair of sunglasses. She paused and adjusted her own posture, drawing herself up to her full (and rather unimpressive) height. Ice Queen Yuuri was here to play. If the press was involved, it was her favorite coping mechanism. Cool, calm and collected, it banished every hint of her true personality and anxiety behind a polite veneer. Most of the pros had developed a PR strategy for whenever the press showed up, and it had been a godsend for Yuuri, to be able to hide in plain sight. Yuuri chafed behind her smile, feeling worse when Victor casually strode over to where she stood near the glass doors to the rink. He grabbed her hand, planting a quick kiss on her cheek. He acted like it was nothing, where only the day before they had been dancing around each other like school children. How many times had he done this that something like that was so casual for him? Did everything he did mean so little?

She sensed a ripple of energy through the crowd waiting outside when he did this though. Yuuri tried to pull herself from her paranoid musings. How could she forget? They were just putting on a show.

Yuuri had always been a good performer.

As they walked out of the door, she was hyper-aware of where they touched. But she couldn't truly appreciate the warmth of Victor's hand when the waiting cameras started to flash. The fleeting brushes of their hands yesterday had somehow been more satisfying than this. Reporters cried out all around them, and she only caught snippets of their questions. She and Victor casually strolled down the sidewalk, parting the mob like the Red Sea. They were untouchable. Yuuri stared ahead impassively, trying to look cooly unapproachable despite her sneakers and messy bun. She felt her skin crawl as a multitude of eyes focused on her.

She didn't like being the center of attention without a good reason. Feeling emboldened (she had nothing left to lose here, did she?), she leaned closer to Victor, turning to whisper something into his ear. That sent off a series of shouts and a flurry of activity.

"Having fun yet?" Her voice was lower than it normally was, more sultry and sophisticated. Exuding control that she only wished she had. Victor's returning laugh sounded warm and real, but Yuuri could feel the chill underneath the surface. They walked with their guard up all the way to the hotel, where Yuuri gladly parted from Victor and nearly ran to her room, sagging against the door as she slammed it behind her.

Without giving herself too much time to think about things, she gathered up her ballet things, putting on a leotard and pulling a pair of sweats over. Yuuri threw on her jacket as was out of the door almost as quickly as she had come in. Her feet continued on steadily to where she thought the ballet studio was, and they gratefully ascended the stairs up to the studio before she remembered that this wasn't Hasetsu anymore, or even that place in Detriot where she could dance if there weren't any classes. This was Lilia's studio and she had no idea if would be able to dance. She peered through the window into the room that she and Victor had been in yesterday. It was empty.

Though it was probably locked anyways, Yuuri still tried the handle. There was resistance, but as Yuuri jiggled the handle just a little bit, the door swung open easily. Hardly believing her luck, she shut it carefully behind her, sitting down to put on her ballet slippers and taking off her sweats. Yuuri started her stretching and barre movements, delighting in the distracting demands of the actions. But the repetitions soon grew mindless, and Yuuri felt herself start to think and feel again. She took a deep breath and moved to the floor. Time for some combinations, then.

There was a point where Yuuri stopped her pretense of practice and did what she always came to a studio to do. Dance, if it could be truly called that. It was more of a rage against herself until she was utterly spent. She lept and spun to a rapid (if silent) tempo. Her limbs burned and her lungs begged for air. She starved her brain of the energy required to think.

She nearly fell when, as she turned, she noticed someone else in the doorway, managing to catch herself just in time. The damage was already done. Yuuri recognized the harsh gaze of the former prima ballerina. She was angry that Lilia had seen something that was so private to her. The older woman offered a few claps. Yuuri wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic or not.

"Now I finally see what Minako saw in you."

Lilia was gone almost as soon she had appeared, leaving Yuuri wondering if she had imagined the whole thing. Try as she might, she was unable to regain quite as clear a head as before. Resigned, she stretched out her legs, wandering to the hallway to put her layers back on. She slipped a sweater over her leotard, preparing to take off her ballet slippers, when she heard vaguely familiar music coming from another room. Odd. That hadn't been playing earlier, had it?

Her traitorous feet started down the hallway before her mind could catch up. It was probably just Lilia anyways, or maybe another student. But her mind couldn't let go of the idea that it could be Victor. Maybe he danced away his troubles like she did. She crept closer to the window.

Her heart dropped when she caught a flash of blonde hair, not the silver that she had been desperately hoping to see. Then again, that would have made it all too easy for her. A lithe and willowy figure was dancing, and she realized with a start that it was Yuri. He had transformed with this smooth and calming music. His free skate, wasn't it? There was still so much tension in his limbs though, the wrong emotions behind his movements.

The song ended and Yuuri found herself trying to duck away from the glass before she was seen. She heard a shout from within and knew that she had been too slow.

"Katsuki?" he hollered, voice filled with more surprise than anger. Yuuri smiled. Maybe he was warming up to her.

"What the hell! Why are you watching me dance? Are you some kind of pervert?"

Ah, never mind. Same spiteful skater.

She considered his questions an invitation to enter the room. Evidently the look in her eyes shut him up pretty quickly. Yuuri would not be easily cowed by teen angst.

"Do it again. You looked so tense."

Yuri's expression was entirely dumbfounded, but as Yuuri walked over and turned on the CD player, he began moving almost reactively. His movements became less stilted as the shock wore off, but they never became as free and innocent as she knew the song demanded. Yuuri turned off the music.

"If I remember right, this song is supposed to be about the gentleness of unconditional love. It represents simplicity and purity. They way you're moving, it's like someone just cheated on you. You need to find a way to let go of that anger."

Yuri just glared at her in response to that.

"Look, is there anything that lets you feel love instead of hate? A crush on someone from school, maybe?"

"I don't even go to normal school. This probably won't ever make it to the ice anyways. Victor promised me that he would choreograph something for me though, so Yakov told me to go see if I could make it work on my own if I wanted to skate it so badly. I just want everything to be perfect for my senior debut, and I know that this routine has the potential to be a winning one!"

Yuri looked a little surprised at how much he had ended up saying, cutting off his rant by snapping his mouth shut into the pout that always seemed to grace his face. She nodded at him encouragingly.

"In Regards to Love: Agape. But then, what is agape?" she wondered out loud, turning away from Yuri as she began to move, testing out words and movements to match.

"Boundless," she began, sweeping her leg forward and around.

"Innocent." She continued with a sissonne pas de chat.

"Selfless." Yuuri lifted her hands up to the ceiling and arched her back in an echo of the ending pose that she thought she remembered from the other day.

"Is there anyone in your life who would do anything for you? Someone that you would do anything for?" Yuuri saw a flash of understanding pass through the Russian's eyes. He said something in Russian quietly and almost under his breath, but the way he said it caught her attention. He finally had managed to put aside his arrogance and brash nature. His face was relaxed, and with his flowing blonde locks, he looked almost angelic.

She started the music quickly, hoping that he would be able to retain this newfound calm. A shiver went up her spine as he started to dance again. He wasn't able to completely banish his anger, but where it lingered, she saw only a fierce devotion instead of overwhelming hatred A beautiful monster.

Yuuri called out small corrections ("Leg higher! Watch the arm!) but they didn't seem to phase him. The boy worked onwards, continuing his spins and leaping higher every time. He fueled himself no longer with just emotions, but with a piece of his true identity. Yuuri saw the difference as clearly as she had felt it in her programs from the past season. She felt touched that he was sharing this with her. A sense of guilt crept in; she surely wasn't the one who deserved to reap the benefits of all of his hard work present in this performance. It wasn't meant for her eyes, just as the light of angels blinds the beholder.

Yuri finished his dance, and Yuuri was startled by the change that came over him the moment that the music stopped. The peaceful expression instantly melted away, and his eyes regained their cold glint, somehow jaded despite his youth. But they didn't look at her with the same enmity as before. He stood, panting, before turning to her again.

"Don't think I've forgiven you for this morning," he said quietly, but Yuuri could tell that his heart wasn't into it. They stood awkwardly for a moment. Her presence might have been helpful, but now it would only hinder him. She looked him dead in the eye and gave an almost imperceptible nod, an unspoken agreement not to mention this again. As she walked through the doorway, she turned.

"Thank you," she spoke quietly before heading back to where her things still waited in the hallway.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Here comes some self-gratifying fluff! Most of this chapter is heavily influenced by episode 4. I'm not trying to pretend that I created the masterpiece that is Yuri on Ice, so I figured I'd give you all a heads-up.

Yuuri relaxed in the warm water of the bathtub, feeling much safer hiding away in her hotel room. Her muscles were sore from the abuse she had heaped on them early in the studio, but the underlying pain gave her something else to focus on instead of the events of the day. Focusing on the rest of her body helped her get out of her own head. Yuuri wasn't a masochist, but she enjoyed the aches that she earned from training. They reminded her of what it took to get where she was. She wasn't invincible or naturally perfect. Her skill was forged from hard work.

The hot bath reminded her of Hasetsu, where she would sit in the bath after training nearly every day. She shifted lower in the water, allowing it to surrounded her head and cover her body more completely. With the water covering her ears, everything was finally quiet.

When the water started to cool, Yuuri reluctantly sat up and got out of the tub, pulling out the stopper. She toweled off before wrapping herself in a bathrobe, moving to settle into her bed. An early night would be good for her. More time sleeping left less time for her to sit alone and think. Hopefully, she could regain her composure before tomorrow. She eyed her phone on the bedside table, not bothering to turn it back on. She could wade through the sea of notifications she was sure were waiting for her later. Phichit could take it up with her later.

A knock on the door surprised her, but distracted as she was, Yuuri went over and opened it, not bothering to look through the peep hole. She was startled when she saw familiar blue eyes and silver hair waiting outside. Her cheeks reddened as she realized her own state of undress, the cozy white robe revealing far more than she normally liked. Victor seemed as shocked as she was, his eyes wide as he stared. She tugged the bathrobe tighter across her chest.

"I was going to ask if you wanted to go for a walk, but now might not be the best time." Victor's face looked suspiciously red as he tried his best to avoid staring at her. Yuuri relaxed. This was the Victor she had come to know. He certainly seemed earnest, though she heard the warning bells going off in the back of her mind. He transitioned so smoothly between personas, it was clear he had been acting for a long time. Was this yet another act from him? His request seemed benign enough, so Yuuri reasoned it couldn't hurt to take him up on it.

"If you give me a few minutes, I'll be ready to go," she said impulsively. Victor brightened, turning to go back to the hallway. Yuuri scrambled around the room, pulling on some clothes before brushing her hair and trying to make herself look as presentable as she could. She grabbed a hat to cover her damp hair. Itt wouldn't do to for her to get sick now. Looking in the mirror, she sighed. She wished that she looked better. Her hair was wet and matted down, and her skin still pink from the bath. She felt almost embarrassed to let Victor see her this way. But on the bright side, maybe nobody would recognize her?

Victor nodded when she emerged into the hallway. They walked silently out of the hotel. It was growing dark outside already, and the streets contained very few other people. She trailed slightly behind Victor, unsure of where exactly he was taking her. The sound of their footsteps on the stone echoed loudly in the empty streets. The semi-solitude was strangely comforting after the crowds of people surrounding them earlier.

Yuuri wondered where they were going, the answer finally becoming clear as a familiar salty smell began to waft over to them. The wind blew gently, carrying the soft squawks of seagulls. She stopped in her tracks and closed her eyes, reeling from a sense of dejá vu. Yuuri felt almost like she was back in Hasetsu, nostalgia nearly overwhelming her. She snapped her eyes open when she heard the footsteps in front of her stop.

"Sorry," she smiled, eyes slightly watery. "It just reminds me of home."

"And where is home for you? If I recall, you train in Detroit, and I don't think there is an ocean there," Victor asked as they made their way to a path down to a dock.

"A small coastal town in Japan. My family runs a onsen or hot springs inn there. I would go down to the ocean all the time when I was younger. The seagulls sound just the same. I never really thought I'd miss that noise, but then, I never planned to leave home."

Victor nodded in agreement as they settled onto a bench next to each other. Yuuri barely noticed, continuing to pour out her feelings.

"It's all so different now, so overwhelming. Sometimes I wish I could return home, to the simplicity of the seagulls on the beach. I wonder if I would be happier if I never made it this far. "

"Ah, but if you hadn't, then we never would have met, Yuuri. And I don't think that I would be happier had we not."

"Can you so easily say that? We've known each other for all of three days. I know I would be happier without all this focus and attention," she lamented.

Victor looked at her, eyes projecting hurt. Yuuri felt a sting of guilt.

"I'm sorry about all the fuss that this has kicked up for you. I didn't mean for this to happened when I asked if I could skate with you. Is it really so bad for you here?"

She had never been very good with emotions, growing very good at pushing people away to deal with later, the same way she tried to do with her feelings. She did it so often it had become a reflexive response, even when it was the last thing she meant to do.. Yuuri could hear what he was really saying. Is it really so bad that we are spending time together? Has this all been pretending for you? Her heart ached at the doubt in his voice. The doubt that she so often felt herself. When people tried to comfort her, she often doubted them. Instead of helping, it made her feel weak, like they didn't think she was strong enough on her own. But Victor hadn't tried to pry or hover. So Yuuri did her best to articulate the chaos raging inside of her

"No, Victor, this has been like a dream for me. I'm just afraid of what might happen when I wake up from it all." Yuuri cast her eyes downward before she continued, afraid of how he might react to what she said next.

"For a long time I've admired you. But now that this all is actually happening, none of it feels quite right. How can what I wanted feel so unsatisfying now that I have it?"

"What do you want me to be to you, then? A mentor? A brother or a friend?"

Yuuri remained quiet, staring up at him with questioning eyes, shaking her head.

"Perhaps a lover?" Victor leaned close to her, his lips drawing near to her own. Yuuri was tempted to accept the offer and meet his lips with her own. It would be like something out of a movie, a kiss on the beach in the dark, right before the credits rolled. But she realized what he was saying. He was willing to pretend to be any of these thing with her, just like he pretended with the press. And Yuuri didn't want that from him. She drew back suddenly.

"No, no, no. That isn't what I want from you! I want you to stay who you are, Victor! The person I have gotten to know over the past few days. I don't want you to put on another mask just to try to please me. Be yourself for me!"

Yuuri turned to look out on the water, heart pounding as she waited for him to react. Why wouldn't he just say something? Anything? The passing seconds stretched on impossibly long. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and automatically, she turned to face him again. He was close, so tantalizingly close. He moved even closer, and suddenly his lips were on hers.

In terms of kisses, it probably wasn't the most impressive. But to Yuuri, it was one of the most amazing things she had done. Certainly the best kiss she had ever had, not that she had much to compare it feeling of elation that spread through her body was equal to a gold medal performance, perhaps even better. She hungrily kissed him back, trying to convey all of her desire for him. They pulled apart reluctantly, gasping for air. Victor smiled widely.

"Would you believe me if I said I have wanted to do that since we danced together at the banquet? You cast a spell on me, Yuuri, and I've been unable to forget you. But you never seemed to notice me after that, almost avoiding me at competitions."

Yuuri blushed, shyly leaning in to kiss him again, planting a peck on his cheek.

"I ignored you because I didn't want you to see my shortcomings. I was afraid that I wouldn't be enough for you if you ever got to know me. Let me make it up when we skate together. I won't take my eyes off of you."

They sat together in the rapidly cooling night, Yuuri snuggling closer to him as she felt the chill seep into her bones. But eventually she couldn't hide her shivers any longer. Victor pulled away, and the wind bit at her more fiercely. He pulled off his coat, draping it around her shoulders. Yuuri swam in the sea of fabric, grateful for the warmth that it provided, but conscious of the chill that he must now be feeling.

"We probably should head back soon. We have to be up early for training tomorrow," Yuuri suggested, mentally kicking herself in protest of what was coming out of her mouth. She wished that they could just stay there forever in the salty sea breeze.

She didn't know what to call what they had between them, but she certainly wanted it to continue as long as it could.


	10. Chapter 10

Yuuri was actually excited when her alarm went off in the morning, a far cry from her usual morning persona, as Phichit would attest to. Normally she had to be all but dragged out of bed, and didn't feel fully human until she had had coffee or the sun was out. She felt a fluttering in her stomach that was tied with the fluttering of her eyelids, a sudden rush of adrenaline serving to wake her up far better than a shot of caffeine. She felt like a teenager mooning over their first crush, which she supposed was true, aside from the fact that she was no longer a teenager. But she had been pining over Victor since she was a teen, so she figured that counted.

Yuuri was elated to see that no one was waiting outside of the rink. Granted, it would take a highly dedicated reporter to wake up early enough to catch the skaters entering, but it wouldn't be anything she hadn't heard of before. The high status of the skaters at the rink probably meant that they had systems in place to prevent that sort of thing anyway. Yuri had been a little dramatic when he had gone on about being stalked yesterday, she mused.

She was glad to see Victor waiting for her when she emerged from the locker room. Yakov wouldn't be there for nearly a half hour, which left them plenty of time to warm up. They did some dynamic stretching near the bleachers to get their muscles warmed up a little before holding out static stretches. Yuuri sat on the floor and reached to touch her toes, pressing her head to her legs in order to deepen the stretch. She shifted to a straddle and progressed through her normal routine in order to avoid any pain or tightness from the splits she did before getting on the ice. Skating demanded intense flexibility from all those who competed at the top level of the sport, and even more so from female skaters. Yuuri pushed her body as far as she could in order to pull off elegant movements like Bielman spins. Displays of flexibility added to her spins, which she had relied on heavily in her early days before her jumps grew more consistent. The familiar tension in her muscles was welcome to her, bringing back good memories of dance class as a young girl.

She observed Victor out of the corner of her eye as she held her foot next to her head. The tight pants of his warmup suit offered a great view of his muscular rear end as he bend over to stretch the backs of his legs. She flushed when his eyes landed on hers, nearly losing her balance, embarrassed to have been caught staring. Feeling suitably limber, she sat down to lace her skates before heading out onto the pristine ice. Yuuri loved to be the first one to skate on resurfaced ice. She skated a lap around the outside before transitioning to a figure that she had learned when she was younger, blades tracing familiar shapes below her. Half the reason her step sequences were what they were today was the focus placed on technique and crisp edges when she was still learning how to skate.

Victor joined her on the ice a few minutes later, skating large laps around where she was working in the middle. He soon transitioned to trailing behind her as she skated, copying the pattern she traced onto the ice. Their impromptu game of follow the leader brought out a competitive streak inside her. She finished the figure but instead of stopping, she launched immediately into a new one that was substantially more difficult. But Victor wasn't the reigning men's champion for nothing and he easily followed her. Yuuri turned her focus away from him and back to her blades as she started a particularly quick turn sequence.

Yakov came in as they finished, walking over to where the pair waited.

"Willingly working on footwork, Victor? Yuuri is obviously a good influence. t's a good thing you chose started to with figures today because we need to focus on footwork. You two very skilled individually, but pair skating demands perfect synchronization between the both of you."

The fun and excitement that yesterday's choreography and successes had brought vanished as the older man put the skaters to the test with demanding combinations, repeated endlessly. Yuuri felt her mind begin to wander because of the monotony but did her best to focus on every movement. She felt hyper aware of Victor's motions compared to her own. They managed to synch up nearly perfectly, but every mistake that they made felt jarring. The mistakes lessened the more that they skated though. Even as they tired they remained connected. Yakov put the music from yesterday on and had them skate the same choreography as yesterday now that they had done a lot of work on the combinations.

The difference between the two practices could not have been more distinct. To Yuuri, it felt like night and day. Yesterday she had been very proud of what they had accomplished, but looking at what they managed today, she had had no right to be. Before they had a tenuous connection between them that was buoyed by emotion and poor technique as a unit. Today, as the music started, it matched with both of them, and they finally had the proper form to begin showing the emotional connection that they were nurturing.

Yuuri nearly faltered because of her own amazement at how different it all felt after the first sequence they did together. She was far more sure in her own motions and less afraid of what would happen if she messed up. Practice had gone a long way towards soothing her worries. They approached the first lift, and Yuuri was up in the air before she realized what was going on. She felt her center of gravity begin to shift but she tightened her core muscles and tried her best to stop the motion that had begun involuntarily in her limbs as she tried to correct her slide. His strong arms hardly wavered underneath her, though Yuuri felt a deep sense of relief when Victor placed her back onto the ice. The two began side-by-side spins, extending an arm up as one, twirling at the same speed. When they came to a stop, Yuuri felt absolutely elated. She hugged Victor, putting the taller Russian off-balance because of her exuberance. She drew back quickly, embarrassed, when Yakov coughed. She wasn't sure if it was an intentional move on the older man's part, but it certainly made her remember his presence. Victor steadied himself and stood attentively as his coach began to give them a run-down of their performance.

Evidently it was satisfactory enough for the coach to feel confident introducing more choreography. With the combination of Yuuri's opening solo and yesterday's work, they were nearly halfway through the song already, though Yuuri had yet to learn the beginning portion. They completed more footwork with another set of spins before pausing right before a more elaborate lift. Yakov seemed to contemplate the idea of trying it on the ice, but decided to quit while they were ahead. That was an activity best suited for when their muscles were fresher. Yuuri didn't protest, even though she didn't feel particularly tired at all.

She regretted even thinking something along those lines, because not a moment later, Victor was dismissed. But only Victor.

"Katsuki, we need to work on your opening, especially the jumps." Yuuri deflated slightly, feeling nervous about working with the coach one-on-one. He was far harsher than Celestino was, and she wasn't usually on the top of her game in practice. She was afraid that she was going to embarrass herself terribly. At least she was already there in Russia so her invitation couldn't be so easily rescinded.

Yakov outlined the modified beginning section. Yuuri ran through it in her head, comparing it to the routine that she already knew. The two were different enough, with the new segment being harder than beginning of the other routine, but they were very similar. Similar enough that Yuuri kept accidentally reverting to the older program. And the new variant called for a triple axel which was no easy feat for a female skater. Yuuri hadn't landed one cleanly in competition yet, so she was definitely feeling nervous about that being in the opening of an exhibition. This routine had the potential to be absolutely amazing, something talked about for years to come, or a complete and utter disaster. For Victor's sake, Yuuri hoped it was the former.

Yakov sent her to one side of the rink to practice as some of the other skaters took to the ice. Mila winked at her while she got onto the ice, and Yuuri flushed. The Russian woman was gorgeous. Yuuri realized that if things had gone differently here in Russia, if Victor hadn't secretly been goofy and kind, there might have been some truth to the tabloid rumors about the two of them. Yuuri tried to acknowledge the gesture with a not-so-casual nod, but Mila had already continued on her way.

She tried to regain her composure and prepared for a triple axel, but stopped herself before actually taking off. In her next attempt she did a double axel to try to build some confidence. Yuuri felt scared to try the jump and fail now that there were more people in the rink. Including Mila, who had landed a triple axel in last year's Rostelecom Cup.

Yuuri practiced the steps and spins to better cement the differences in her mind so that her muscles wouldn't automatically revert to the version that she knew. Mila was still warming up, but Yakov had disappeared and probably wouldn't return for a little while until his skaters were all ready. Feeling emboldened, Yuuri glided over to where the redhead was standing.

"Um, Mila?" she asked timidly. The other woman turned to look at her.

"Please teach me how to do a triple axel!" The other skaters turned and stared because of the sudden volume that the statement carried. Yuuri tried her best to look confident under the weight of the stares.

"Sure, I'll try my best until coach comes back." Yuuri was slightly surprised that she had agreed to help her, but she certainly wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. The two went over to the other side of the rink.

"Show me what you've got so far."

Yuuri took a deep breath and began to gather speed for her takeoff. She dug her toe pick into the ice but knew as soon as she was in the air that her jump wasn't going to be a success. Instead of trying for the full amount of rotations, she turned the jump into a double, landing off-balance but luckily staying upright. Mila's expression was unchanged when she turned to look at the other girl.

"Try it again," she encouraged.

Yuuri went to do the jump again, getting a solid takeoff and the proper rotations in the air. She managed to land it, but just barely. She was so shocked that she hadn't fallen that it caused her to forget exactly where she was. Yuuri wavered on the ice, nearly tripping over her own blades.

Mila smiled at her.

"That's a good start. I want to show you something. Watch my takeoff?" Yuuri moved away from her so that she could better see the jump. The Russian woman skated very deliberately, executing a clean and precise jump. Yuuri was envious of how easy it seemed to be for her. But having observed the other skater's body positioning, she was ready to try again.

Yuuri started moving, and she could almost feel the difference in this jump. She wasn't able to pinpoint exactly what the change was, but she felt more balanced on her landing, coming out of the jump nearly as quickly as she had entered. She skated over and pulled Mila to her.

"Thank you so much!" she said before releasing the Russian from her hold. Yuuri would have like to keep doing the jump to make sure that it hadn't been a fluke, but she wanted to try to fit it into the routine even more. The appearance of Yakov made the decision for her. With butterflies in her stomach, she began the routine again.


End file.
